Jack has been with us for just over two weeks, that’s it just two weeks but it feels like he has always been here. It’s weird isn’t it how you spend 9 months growing them, unknowing to you how they’ll look or act and when they’re here it’s just natural how they slot in.
I’ve barely worn a bra for those two weeks, my floors need hoovering, my bathroom has seen better days, the washing up keeps on piling up from endless coffees & plates bearing doughnuts and cakes brought in, making the bed takes several attempts and I am pretty sure I’ve forgotten deodorant most days.
Jack goes 2-3 hours during the day in between sleep and feeds and the night has been varied, trying to get anything done in the house is pretty impossible with both about. For now gone are the days I would stick on a Loose Lips podcast and spend an hour in the morning cleaning the home top to bottom, any attempt to put a wash on and you can guarantee that either Jack or Frankie, or both need a poo/feed or attention.
The two days Frankie is at nursery I thought I’d be able to get shit done, well no, I think he senses he’s top dog in the house and demands to be cluster fed or on my hip for the full 6 hours of respite I spent on maternity leave bingewatching Teen Mom 2 and What If on Netflix..
Things I could be doing whilst I’m feeding
- Washing up
- Putting a wash on
- Putting the washing away
- Making Beds
- Working out
- Swapping out my maternity clothes for clothes that actually fit my body
- Food shopping
- Getting my nails done
Get the picture? Pretty much everything. But I can’t, because Jack is 2 weeks old, he needs his Mama and I am his safe place. I’ve read up lots on the ‘fourth trimester’, it basically counts the 0-3 month newborn stage as the final trimester of nurturing and it makes so much sense, you’ve grown and carried your baby so it’s only natural they need YOU in the first three months. Look it up on Baby Centre or Emma’s Diary when you are sitting up at 4am feeling like banging your head against the wall out of sheer exhaustion and frustration that baby is latched onto your nipple for what feels like the 180th time that night and scrolling social media is giving you headache, everyone else is sleeping and you want to shake yourself to stop your eyes shutting.
Yesterday was one of those days, I’d been up every hourish with Jack who non-stop fed on me, Frankie woke me up at 5:30am, the house was a shithole from a busy weekend and being out on Fathers Day and I was overwhelmed trying to do EVERYTHING, so I stopped what I was doing and rung my Mum and off we went to Nannie’s house for the day, she made me coffee, breakfast and lunch and I had a shower without panicking. When I got home the house was still a shithole, the washing pile high and the beds unmade but Frankie busied himself with his toys that he’d been away from all day and Jack stayed asleep in his carseat for half hour so I had a chance to whiz around tidying.
The reason I’m sharing this post is to tell you other Mamas to stop, the days are long but the months are short. Your babies won’t thank you for doing the washing up or bleaching the floors but they will for an extra five minutes of playtime and leaving their toys out for them to resume the next day. You might as well write off the first 6 weeks of having a newborn, it’s exhausting, emotional but it’s precious time you will never get back so take 100 pictures a day, stop and stare, go at your own pace, cancel plans if you are stretching yourself too thin & ask for help. If someone comes to visit you and offers to make a coffee LET THEM, if a friend calls and asks if you need anything from the shops TELL THEM.
Nothing beats the newborn weeks, the cracked nipples will pass but the memories won’t x