I am officially 20 weeks pregnant, what is deemed the halfway mark & of course marks my 20 week scan, arguably the most exciting if you are planning on finding out the gender as we are, TOMORROW!
My initial aim was to blog my pregnancy weekly, but I don’t think me withering on about how tired, hungry & sick I’ve been week in week out for maybe 40 odd blog posts would make for interesting reading so I’ve decided to try and aim for every few or when I have something to report!
For the most part my pregnancy has been smooth sailing, textbook really but the sickness I’ve experienced this time around compared to my first has been awful. If you take into consideration last time round I had only known I was pregnant for a little over 3 weeks whereas this time I have been fully aware of my body’s changes since just 3 weeks it’s crazy how the same body handles two pregnancies so differently.
My bump is a lot bigger already now than it was with Frankie, baby is extremely active I feel all the time, my boobs ache literally all. the. time, every smell makes me feel nauseous, I can’t drink coffee anymore because it causes me to vom and the train is getting worse and worse, every commute I feel queasy and claustrophobic. Below left Frankie bump, below right Now bump.
Of course the main difference this time around is that I have a toddler to chase after, no well-needed lay-ins or Kardashians marathons on the sofa. No matter how sick or tired I feel there is always a track to put together or a Minion version of Havana to do the ‘crazy dance’ to. I feel very blessed that I am pregnant again, despite having irregular cycle and PCOS, I am ecstatic, over the moon & can’t wait to see Frankie become a Big Brother but I have been struggling the last few weeks trying to comprehend how a new baby is going to fit into mine and Frankie’s life and routines.
I’m sure it’s the hormones but I just keep feeling so guilty! I cried taking him to nursery last week, because I felt guilty that soon it won’t just be us on the nursery run singing his nursery rhymes, I cried when he held his head on my belly to listen to his brother/sister and when he felt them move he asked me if I was going to still be his favourite or would I have two and I was so stunned that that thought had crossed his little mind.
I am sure every Mum expecting their next child must feel the same as I do, your first pregnancy, baby & experience is so different. Everything is new, the unknown and totally focused on the bundle you are growing. If you feel like you’ve overdone it or become tired growing another little person you rest. When you already have one & you are beckoning on welcoming another into the world, their need for you and stomping their little feet when they don’t get their own way is present and that well deserved rest you may need just isn’t going to happen!
Despite my fears I just know that Frankie IS going to be the best big brother, he plays with my hair when I tell him the baby is making me tired, he gets his doctors kit on me when I’ve been sick, he says ‘Morning Kevin’ every day to my belly and loves to hold his head on my stomach until bump kicks. We cleared out his room & did a toy cleanse to make way for his new big boy bed and he started carefully picking out his old rattles, a teething ring & ‘baby’ toys that ‘are too small for him’ and told me he was going to put them in a special box for when ‘baby Kevin’ is bigger.
This time tomorrow we’ll know if baby #2 is a boy or a girl, a son or a daughter or a brother or a sister for Frankie. Eek how exciting! I can’t wait to see baby again and hope for a happy and healthy bump.
Here’s hoping either way Frankie drops the name Kevin!