Mum V Dad

Mum V Dad

‘I’ve been at work all week’ – how many times do I have to hear that sodding phrase? I haven’t been on a well-being retreat all week neither have I indulged in any kind of self-pampering, in fact I have been at work for three out of seven days of the week, two more of them are spent doing activities with Frankie, the washing, the cleaning, housework & then it’s the weekend.

Why do Dads get it so easy?! Unless you are one of these minority women I have met who’s other half sounds Godly and makes tea, feeds the kids when you are ill & actually strips and changes the bed I am talking about your other half! Why are we as Mums expected to do EVERY-THING?!

Last night I was up at 6am, Frankie was dropped to Nannie’s, on the train for 7:30am, worked a 9 hour day and my train was delayed home meaning I didn’t walk in the door until 7:45pm last night over an hour and a half late! Do you think Frankie had been bathed and put in pjs as I was late home? No. Fair enough, I had a hot meal to come home to, my other half always does dinner Mon-Weds, I know I am lucky in that sense, guess who still has to wash up though.. BUT can you imagine if they were late home and the tot came running at them stepping just one foot in the door after a long delayed day at work and be expected to clear them up, bath and snuggle them!? The world would be against them!

‘I’d love to be able to take Frankie to nursery’ – be my guest hun, get yourself dressed and presentable for work, wake up and dress a stroppy defiant demon Frankie, who has of late decided he doesn’t like anything hanging in his wardrobe, remember to find and print a picture of his holiday for their vision board & sign the slip that has been on the fridge for 8 weeks consenting that he can eat eggs or he can’t partake in cake baking the next day all before 7am and don’t be late for the train to work..

No, I am sure your alarm going off, having a shower without a timebomb toddler making Nemo swim through your legs at your own leisure, getting ready and presentable in your own time, enjoying a hot cup of coffee, getting in your car and listening to the radio without the drone of ‘jonny jonny’ sounds much more appealing than wishing you could take Frankie to nursery.

‘You are lucky you get the best of both worlds, I’d love to work part time’ – it’s not just him, EVERYONE comments on this one, lucky to work part time? Lucky to have two jobs that I do half heatedly. Trying to maintain and expand in a career I’ve been passionate about whilst teaching and imploring a dependent toddler the ways of the world. Proving to my employer that although I am a Mum I am still dedicated to my job but having to take the odd day off for a questionable spot and tickly cough because he can’t go to nursery that day.

I know that as Mums we are lucky that we now have so many options at our feet for flexible working patterns, job shares and maternity leave, but putting a career you love on hold to sit at home totally at your toddler’s disposal is frankly mind-numbing on some days to say the least. Seeing other people live the life you once had, cocktail at lunch? Why not! Watching the outdoor theatre at Tower Bridge? I’m there! Wednesday night zombies in The City? Fuck yeah! Imagine going out after work and not having to worry about getting home for bath/bed time, knowing that if you do stay out after work the next time you will see your tot is in the morning when you’re wrestling them into their clothes for the drop up with a stonking wine head.

‘I’d love to be able to take Frankie out as much as you do’ – try planning a fun filled day, spending your limited budget on entry to a softplay, event or a farm, another £10 give or take on snacks and juice because your not prepared enough to make a packed lunch in advance or they frown upon you bringing your own food for them to have a twat tantrum ruining both yours and their mood and you bundle home in the car p*ssed off and deflated! Then coming in from work, turning the TV over from Paw Patrol, inducing toddler into a twat tantrum number 2 and sitting on your phone exclaiming ‘you’ve had your telly on all day’.. Actually, no he hasn’t, he has just calmed down after an hour of bribery and soothing, I am finally managing to iron your shirts in peace and quiet which you kindly let me know you don’t have any left because I once again favoured Love Island over ironing and you have come in and disrupted the status quo!

On the days that we’ve been having lately with the brilliant weather it must be sad for him when he rings and we are spending the day in the paddling pool or having a beach day whilst he’s stuck in an office or when we’re still in our pjamas watching the Toy Story trilogy at 3pm but you know what, I wholly agree and understand that you have been at work all day but I have worked and kept the 2 year old fed, alive and entertained.

I win.




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